Fact tree

This section: Frequently asked questions about violence.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: My parents tell me I should never start a fight, but always finish one. What’s wrong with that?

Ans: If a situation turns violent, you may have no other option than to defend yourself, but only ever do this as a last resort. Always remember that even if somebody else is being violent towards you, if you use violence back, the situation may well get worse. You could get seriously hurt or you might hurt the other person. Also, one or both of you could end up in trouble with the school and/or police and even get a criminal record, which will affect your future. Every action you take has consequences and you should consider these before you react to a situation with violence. It’s never easy to walk away, but it takes more courage than fighting back.

Q: What age should you be to have sex?

Ans: The legal age of consent is 16, but remember that this is the minimum age and you should wait until you both feel ready. Never let anybody pressurise you into having sex. It’s wrong unless you both want it to happen.

Q: I’ve been getting bullied at school. Where can I go for help?

Ans: Telling somebody you trust is important so that you can get help to get the bullying stopped. This person could be a family member, teacher or another adult that you trust, or you could call our information line (01786 849447). All schools should have an anti-bullying policy and so must take action if any pupil reports that they are being bullied. It’s never easy to stand up to bullies alone, so it’s important that you get help to put a stop to it.

Q: My dad is always calling my mum names and saying things to make her feel bad. I feel sorry for my mum as I know these things hurt her but she tells me not to worry and that it’s not important.

Ans: Calling somebody names, criticising them and making them feel bad about themselves is called emotional abuse. This behaviour is not okay and can be part of a pattern of domestic violence. It can also make children feel scared or nervous. If you think this is going on at home, it’s a good idea to speak to another adult you can trust and tell them about your worries. If you have more questions, you can also call our helpline.

Q: Are paedophiles always men?

Ans: No. Any adult having sexual activity with a child is breaking the law. If you feel that an adult is making you feel uncomfortable by behaving in an inappropriate way, it is very important that you tell somebody so that you can get it stopped.

Q: Can you get pregnant when you are having your period?

Ans: Yes. To avoid pregnancy and contracting any sort of sexual transmitted infection you should use a condom. If for any reason this is damaged you should speak to an adult you trust to help you, or contact your doctor.

Q: If your boyfriend or girl friend says they love you does that mean it is ok to have sex with them?

Ans: You must think of your own feelings towards that person, and be sure in your own mind that you are mature enough to be involved in a sexual relationship. Do not do something you feel pressured into and that you may regret at a later time. If they truly love you they will wait until you are ready .

Got a question? ......phone our information line on 01786 849447