Self-esteem

Self-esteem is the opinion we tend to hold about ourself and our self-worth.

If we have high self-esteem, we like ourselves and accept ourselves and are confident in our actions. If we are confident in the things we do and say we are less likely to worry about what other people think about us and less likely to be influenced by their thoughts and actions.

If we have low self-esteem, we think very negatively about ourselves, we don’t like ourselves, have feelings of worthlessness and may lack confidence in the things we do. We might be very critical of ourselves and beat ourselves up for mistakes that we feel responsible for and are much more likely to worry about what other people think of us and therefore believe that their opinions and beliefs are worth more than our own.

Why is it Important to have high Self-Esteem?

If you have high self-esteem you are happy with the person you are and you understand that it is normal and OK to make mistakes. You are less likely to punish yourself and feel guilty about things you have done which means you will be a much happier person than if you have low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can lead to all sorts of emotional problems, for example you may feel unhappy or depressed. If you doubt yourself and worry about what other people think of you then you maybe more vulnerable to criticism, pressure or bullying.

If I have Low Self-Esteem Does that Mean I am Going to be Bullied and Abused?

No! Low self-esteem is just something that bullies and other abusers can take advantage of – not everybody is a bully and abuser.

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What has Self-Esteem Got to Do With Violence or Abuse?

Low self-esteem can make you vulnerable as it means you might be more likely to blame yourself if you experience any kind of abuse or violence. You may even think you deserve the abuse if you feel unimportant or you do not feel you are able to get help or deserve help to get away from it.

You are never to blame if you are abused or bullied - no matter what the abuser tells you.

Having low self-esteem can make it very difficult for you to stand up for yourself. Bullies and other abusers can take advantage of people with low self-esteem because of this and to make sure they stay in control they try to lower your self-esteem even more.

Bullies and other abusers need control over other people because they may have low self-esteem as well. The difference between you and them is that they choose to take their problems out on other people. They choose to try to make other people feel bad in order to make themselves feel better.

How Can I Stop Having Low Self-Esteem?

Everybody can have high self-esteem if they want! It just means changing they way you think about yourself. This can be hard work but if you are willing to put the effort in it’s worth it.

Remember – nobody is worth more than you, other people’s opinions do not matter – as long as you are not hurting anybody, the way you live your life is entirely up to you and is nobody else’s business. That includes the way you look, the way you dress and the beliefs and opinions you hold.

Self-esteem varies

Self-esteem is not fixed and it is possible to have high self-esteem in some areas [such as athletics or behaviour] but have low self-esteem in other areas [such as popularity or school work or physical appearance].